Single and Lonely

by Manda Boothby, LMHC | Posted on October 17th, 2016

Being single, like being married, has its perks and its difficulties.  One of those difficulties can be doing traditional family activities alone.  Attending church is often looked at as a premiere family activity.  A family may rarely be all together during the week but many times they make a special effort to be together for church on Sunday.

Lonely even at church

It doesn’t matter if you are widowed, divorced, or never married, walking into a church filled with families can be alone-in-churchlonely and discouraging. Perhaps you are remembering the time in your life when your kids were home, and now they live far away with families of their own, or maybe you find yourself wishing for things that never happened.  Either way, being in a space with many families may make you feel as if you are on the outside of the church family.

The Important Role

However, God calls us all to be a part of his church family and single people are an important part of that family.  He does not want us to shy away from hearing his word and celebrating his Holy Communion.  There are many things a single person can do to become a stronger member of his family.

So these feelings don’t drive a wedge between you and church worship, here are some helpful things you can try:

  • find a church service that works well for you. Maybe that is Saturday night or the early Sunday morning service where there are less children and more emphasis may be placed on individuals.
  • become more involved. The more involved you become, the more at home you will feel.
  • find a pew partner. There are many single people in your congregation that may have the same feelings as you.  Seek them out and befriend them.  Have one person or a group of people that meet at church and sit together.  Not only does this offer feelings of inclusion, it is a great way to hold yourself accountable to go to church weekly.  Also hold them accountable if they start to fall away from attendance.
  • help out a family. There are many single parents with small children that have a difficult time taking them to church because it is too much for one person to handle.  Volunteer to help out the parent by sitting with them during the service.  One more set of hands can make a huge difference, and the parent may be able to enjoy the service for themselves.

Overall, being single can be hard but there is an important place for you in your church family.  You may just have to look to find it.

Manda Boothby, LMHC

Individual, Marriage and Family Therapist serving the Sioux City Area